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http://cdn.lizhi.fm/audio/2015/10/19/23696389310249606_hd.mp3 Mon, 19 Oct 2015 17:47:20 +0800 401 http://cdn.lizhi.fm/audio/2015/10/06/23397069281224838_hd.mp3 Tue, 6 Oct 2015 19:25:01 +0800 383 http://cdn.lizhi.fm/audio/2015/06/07/20587251962216198_hd.mp3 Sun, 7 Jun 2015 15:49:19 +0800 396 http://cdn.lizhi.fm/audio/2015/05/16/20082463113488134_hd.mp3 Sat, 16 May 2015 21:24:37 +0800 338 http://cdn.lizhi.fm/audio/2015/04/27/19640971345767302_hd.mp3 Mon, 27 Apr 2015 20:34:55 +0800 54 其实我从来就不是个安安静静的女孩，有时候，我甚至不喜欢一成不变的生活，就好像我当初选择了医生这个学科的原因其中一条就是，它每天可以接触不一样的人，或者事情，或者疾病，妈妈说，你以后会收红包么，当然不会了，因为心里有道坎，收了会过意不去，
今年发生的事情太多，我开始出去接商演主持，老师问我，为什么想到要做这个，曾经因为爱好，喜欢而想出去挣钱，但是一直也没去，现在呢，一个好朋友问我，为什么要让自己那么累，你是一个女孩，何必要这么拼命呢，周末在家睡一天不好么，当然好了，出去干活多累啊，因为心里有道坎，也许我只是再努力的证明，向家人证明，不用担心我，我都可以出去挣钱了，不再是那个时时刻刻都需要被呵护的小女孩，当不再有一双宽阔的臂膀保护我的时候，别害怕，妈妈，我已经可以站起来了，我不想让大家觉得因为少一个人供我上大学，给这个家庭带来了很大的负担，虽然妈妈从不觉得我是负担，家人都怕我不舍得对自己好，所以都拼命的给我零花钱，家人也怕我因此不好好专攻我的主业了，放心，我没忘，我以后是一名医生，如果可以，我想做一名神经内科的医生，我知道这是一种终身性而且治不好的病，我只想控制好患者的病情，因为心里有道坎，不想让他们像爸爸一样，突然离开他的家人，
其实表面看起来好像是长大了，可是心里还是像以前一样的幼稚，我突然意识到，我用了四年的时间谈了一场，因为彼此觉得还行，互相了解底细，没什么大事发生就不会分手的恋爱，也许早就没有了怦然心动的感觉，而又在他身上看不到我的未来，却因为彼此的习惯，因为心里有道坎，觉得都在一起四年了，而不应该分开，有人说爱情就是这样，只有热恋的时候才会有怦然心动，好吧，那么现在我可不可以说我又对新人有了怦然心动的感觉，
心里的坎多了，活的也就累了，过去的终归都会过去的，努力做个内外兼修的女子，放下心里的坎，趁着年轻，随心所欲的去过自己想要的生活吧，]]> http://cdn.lizhi.fm/audio/2015/04/20/19474883081240838_hd.mp3 Mon, 20 Apr 2015 16:43:12 +0800 397 忘记了在几岁的时候发现右肩膀上有一个痦子，张的不偏不倚，正好是最中间的位置，老人说，肩头上张痦子以后是要身扛重任的，小时候不懂，只是觉得以后，自己会做一个很大很大的官，任一个很重要的职务，也许那就是重任，
随着时间的推移，那个肩头上的痦子也随着一点点的变大，从那个时候天真的以为考清华北大是理所应当而且非常容易的事，到后来作为一名医学生在大学里每天浑浑噩噩的过日子，我不知道我的未来想要一个什么样的生活，就在我构想出想在40多岁的时候拥有一家自己的社区医院时，爸爸突然离开了我，当我在他病床前一遍遍的掉眼泪的时候，我也意识到了就算你是一个再厉害的医生，有些疾病依然治不了，甚至会眼看着这个生命，在一步步的调亡，从来不会觉得生命是短暂的，甚至是脆弱的，唯独在他身上，就好像在两年前我爷爷去世之前，我从来不会觉得死亡这种事情会发生在自己身边，而爸爸的离开仅仅用了两个小时，从发病到昏迷，再到窒息，只有两个小时，却深深雕刻在脑海，其实爸爸也是幸运的，至少他不像别人在离开的时候，要煎熬好几个月，我总是这样安慰自己，
当回到再也不会有爸爸出现的家，直到现在有时候，我还会有点恍惚，我爸去哪了，有时候在家锁门的时候，突然会想到，爸爸还没回来呢，就算他脾气再不好，就算有时候我总说他，他也还是听我的，后来他朋友跟我说，肖冠楠，你知道吗，你爸每次跟我喝酒，提起你都是特别骄傲的，你做的每件事，他都引以为豪，无论是你去比赛，还是在广播站，主持晚会，学习不好还过一本线了，其实我一直都在努力做爸爸的骄傲，也许爸爸好面子，那我就努力让他觉得提起他女儿特别有面子，可是我还没做到，他就离开我了，
当我游离的思绪回到现实中，看到觉得生活在无意义的奶奶，和就算再难受也往肚子里咽的妈妈，我终于知道，那个痦子的意义不是当什么大官，也不是任什么重要的职务，而是替爸爸负担起他人生里最重要的两个女人，也许爸爸的命运在我儿时就注定了，只是上天再等我长大成人后，可以担负起责任时，再把他带走，
爸爸也时常抱怨我是个女孩，因为他总觉得等我嫁人以后，我就不在他身边了，如果我要是个男孩，还可以带一个回来，还记得妈妈跟我说，爸爸知道我有男朋友的那天晚上，彻夜难眠，说不上来的滋味，也许他觉得他不再是我生命里唯一一个，我最依赖的男人了，爸爸走后的一个月，我跟相处了四年半的男朋友分手了，我不可否认他对我的好，或说我自私，或是怎么样都好，其实只是人生观不同吧，我想现在的我需要重新整理好自己，想一想自己到底想要一个什么样的生活，并且照顾好爸爸生命里最重要的两个女人，也是我生命里最重要的两个人，
总是有人跟我说，要坚强，要坚强，其实没有什么坚不坚强的，遇到了，没有办法，就像我经常跟别人说，如果你改变不了现实，那你就去接受它，我只是在接受现实而已，我只希望无论爸爸在哪里，只要过的好就好，别无他求，
清明节对我来说，再也不是假期，而是爸爸的节日，肩头上的痦子，我会一直背下去，直到我替他完成了他应该负的责任，爸爸走的时候是，一句话也没来得及说，可是他把他最引以为傲的女儿留下来了，也许从此缘分不再，但我永远爱你，爸爸，]]> http://cdn.lizhi.fm/audio/2015/04/08/19196063468448774_hd.mp3 Wed, 8 Apr 2015 16:24:30 +0800 696 http://cdn.lizhi.fm/audio/2015/03/28/18945651573991558_hd.mp3 Sat, 28 Mar 2015 21:01:12 +0800 56 http://cdn.lizhi.fm/audio/2015/03/24/18848477133760390_hd.mp3 Tue, 24 Mar 2015 16:28:12 +0800 248 http://cdn.lizhi.fm/audio/2015/02/14/17960888585737990_hd.mp3 Sat, 14 Feb 2015 10:00:33 +0800 229 http://cdn.lizhi.fm/audio/2015/02/12/17923850667191046_hd.mp3 Thu, 12 Feb 2015 19:39:23 +0800 59 http://cdn.lizhi.fm/audio/2015/02/11/17891430376116998_hd.mp3 Wed, 11 Feb 2015 10:07:18 +0800 78 http://cdn.lizhi.fm/audio/2015/01/30/17619895832452742_hd.mp3 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 19:13:02 +0800 727 http://cdn.lizhi.fm/audio/2015/01/18/17341020653056134_hd.mp3 Sun, 18 Jan 2015 16:34:52 +0800 385 http://cdn.lizhi.fm/audio/2014/12/22/16716006274034694_hd.mp3 Mon, 22 Dec 2014 17:52:54 +0800 728 http://cdn.lizhi.fm/audio/2014/11/29/16187669462978566_hd.mp3 Sat, 29 Nov 2014 23:05:24 +0800 235 http://cdn.lizhi.fm/audio/2014/11/29/16186185551662598_hd.mp3 Sat, 29 Nov 2014 21:54:55 +0800 1583 http://cdn.lizhi.fm/audio/2014/11/15/15859098826399110_hd.mp3 Sat, 15 Nov 2014 19:04:38 +0800 252 http://cdn.lizhi.fm/audio/2014/10/09/15004574342373638_hd.mp3 Thu, 9 Oct 2014 22:47:50 +0800 1160 http://cdn.lizhi.fm/audio/2014/10/09/15000592638908806_hd.mp3 Thu, 9 Oct 2014 18:40:32 +0800 1183 http://cdn.lizhi.fm/audio/2014/10/01/14816465451671430_hd.mp3 Wed, 1 Oct 2014 20:18:40 +0800 2098 http://cdn.lizhi.fm/audio/2014/09/14/14416017463906950_hd.mp3 Sun, 14 Sep 2014 13:45:27 +0800 991 http://cdn.lizhi.fm/audio/2014/08/03/13429003646309382_hd.mp3 Sun, 3 Aug 2014 14:44:44 +0800 409 http://cdn.lizhi.fm/audio/2014/07/23/13193091294427142_hd.mp3 Wed, 23 Jul 2014 20:17:00 +0800 394 http://cdn.lizhi.fm/audio/2014/07/09/12865518970448902_hd.mp3 Wed, 9 Jul 2014 17:18:29 +0800 116 http://cdn.lizhi.fm/audio/2014/06/17/12354020576661254_hd.mp3 Tue, 17 Jun 2014 15:59:56 +0800 185 http://cdn.lizhi.fm/audio/2014/06/06/12093265059164166_hd.mp3 Fri, 6 Jun 2014 10:31:45 +0800 868 http://cdn.lizhi.fm/audio/2014/05/31/11955549617023494_hd.mp3 Sat, 31 May 2014 11:39:15 +0800 199 http://cdn.lizhi.fm/audio/2014/05/29/11908349805552518_hd.mp3 Thu, 29 May 2014 10:47:50 +0800 196